A True Scot? by Scott McTavern

Assignment: Write A Personal Essay On The Subject Of Being A Scottish Jew or A Jewish Scot.

Today, Mrs Hamburger said something interesting.

She said McTavern, (she always calls me that), show me your true colours.

I took off my football strip and pulled down ma pants.

Collateral damage, she replied.

I was confused. So I sat back down.

Mrs Hamburger said if I didn't get dressed she'd send me to Mrs Stern.

I was scared. Barbara Bland held my hand under the desk. It has a hole for my inkpot but I keep my pens in a pencil case and the inkpot is full of chewing gum covered with dust.

She said McTavern, you're the sort of fellow who'll end up smoking American Spirit.

Perhaps, I replied, letting go of Barbara's hand and standing up. I looked down at Mrs Hamburger and said, This the climactic turning point.

And the rest of the story just kinda fizzled out